Finding stability
Anonymous for now, 19, English.
I suffered from rather severe anorexia nervosa from ages 14 to 16, when I was forced to recover. Unfortunately I really wasn't in the right place for recovery but I had no choice, resulting in my developing various other bad habits such as binging, purging, compulsive exercising and alcoholism. Last year I was diagnosed with bipolar type one which really helped me to understand why I'm so "fucked up", and after finally getting meds I've made quite alot of progress. After years of struggling with this tangled mess of disorders I'm finally in a place where I really want to stop abusing my body.
On a side note, I'd really like to lose 20 or so pounds, but that isn't my main goal as I'm already a healthy weight and in pretty good shape. I'm more concerned with my body fat percentage. At the moment its 22, which is healthy, but I want to get it back down to 14 or so. I'll be doing this by eating a CLEAN 1200-1500 calories per day and doing plenty of cycling, pilates, weight lifting and walking. Even more than this, though, I actually want to accept myself. I have a very defined hourglass figure and I've always been naturally well muscled which I always thought was strange for a girl, and craved that tiny, willow-like figure of a catwalk model. I know now that ideal is really impossible for me unless I am extremely ill. Instead I want to be happy with myself the way I am naturally.
FOR EVERY FOLLOW OR ASK I'LL DO 20 CRUNCHES ;)
so-i-heard-i-could-be-a-cat-if-i:
Fuck you gaga.
And this only stands with my argument that Lady Gaga is a fucking fraud, and a bitch. Born This Way? Choke on your glitter you insensitive bitch.
I like GaGa and all but… Adele fuckn rulz
I’m not sure who her crazy ass is to judge anyone.
… What a bitch.
what the fuck is wrong with you, gaga?
Gaga, you aren’t even creative everything you do is just fucking weird. Adele has an amazing voice, her voice will take her far. Not every damn singer has to ‘dance their ass off’ in very video and wear little clothing or wearing weird ass shit.
She has some nerve to go and say that. Like, she sits here and says she gets bullied all the time for being ‘unique’. Uhm no you’re just weird. She has this sad, sob story about being bullied all the time in high school just for being herself. What do you think Adele is doing? She is being herself, and she’s not even fat! Damn Gaga! You’re the one being bullied? Sounds to me like you’re the bullier. I just lost the little respect i actually had for Lady Gaga.
This was just the reason I needed to not like this woman. GO ADELE!
I’m not a fan or Lady Gaga and I am not a fan of Adele, but this pissed me off because of two reasons. First of all, she says that sitting in a chair will get boring after the fourth video, WELL GUESS WHAT - doing ridiculous shit in every damn video has also gotten very boring. To me, at least. We already know what she’s going to do because she always does something ‘unique, special, original’. To be honest, I’d be surprised if she actually dressed and acted normal in a video. Don’t get me wrong, it was interesting first few times, but it’s getting boring because it became completely normal.
Then, calling Adele fat. Pardon me, bitch, but what the fuck? Since when does weight matter if you’re talented? Some singers don’t have to shock people to be successful because their voice and music will get them there.
I love Lady Gaga and I love Adele, and I don’t give a fuck about any of this.
Ummm what they said….is this real? I mean why would you say this in an interview? I get it that people may think this way about “fat” people, but announcing it to the whole world? “Fat” people have looked up to Lady Gaga and her support toward those who are different. But this is the opposite of supportive…
UH EVERYONE CAN CALM DOWN SHE DIDN’T ACTUALLY SAY THIS. all you have to do is google “lady gaga on adele” to find out anything she has ever said about adele, and they are all positive comments. i even looked for that 60 minutes interview. NEVER SAID IT.
Personally I really dislike Adele. I do think she’s a boring cunt. But if this is real, I have seen Lady Gaga look flabby as fuck, so she doesn’t really have a right to say this. :’)
Why does my cat have to be such a frigid bitch? :’) AT LEAST MY DOG LOVES ME
(via illpointandshootyou2)
(Source: tumblrgym)
One of those fucking moods where you can just feel this big, horrible, empty nothing weighing down on you. I just don’t feel good enough recently. Good enough for anything at all. Every time I try to lose weight, healthily or unhealthily, I think what is the fucking point? I’ve been 72 lbs at 5 foot fucking 5 I and I thought I was enormous. I don’t think anything will ever be enough. Thats exactly my problem with motivation. It always has been ever since I “recovered”. Once you get that low its just like theres no point in anything any more. I’m not giving up though, because being healthy is as good as anything else.
Jesus christ, I am such a miserable cunt.
I feel like I’m dying, I did nothing at work all day but fucking sneeze so now my nose feels like its been sandpapered, my sinuses are so blocked that I can’t hear anything let alone breathe AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF I FUCKING ATE A FUCKING COOKIE
AJHDFJHDKJFHDGDFGJFDGFDJGHKF I was feeling all sorry for myself so I just didn’t care, pathetic ew ew ew
Ugh, I’ll just have to get right back on track now. Never happened! Gonna do some pilates at about 5 PM and then go on the stationary bike at 8 PM.
I am seriously so angry at myself that I want to fucking scream.
